Before Where and What; Who, Why and How?
Where are you going to college? What are you going to study?
These two questions are typically those asked to any high school senior. College has become an expectation as opposed to an option. While the income earning potential for a college graduate can be higher than that of a high school graduate, it is not always the case. As the student loan debt soars and the cost of college continues to increase, students and families are weighing the pros and cons of what comes after high school.
Having worked in higher education as the Assistant Director of a Counseling Center, I often had a front row seat to the devastating impact of students not being socially or emotionally prepared for the college transition. I have watched students with anxiety become paralyzed with fear. Students who drank or smoked marijuana in high school, getting kicked off of a sports team or even out of the residence halls for not knowing the implications of their use. Students who have not known how to make friends, overwhelmed by depression as feelings of isolation and loneliness weigh heavy on them. Students who have enjoyed the benefits of having their own bedroom and bathroom, unable to navigate conflict with roommates, leading to increased tensions and difficulty feeling safe or comfortable in their room. The list goes on, and yet, I don’t share these examples to make people afraid, but rather to understand the complexities of transitions to college and the importance of conversations about college long before tours and applications.
Freshman year is an ideal time to pose questions helping students gain greater insight and understanding into WHO they are:
What are your values and beliefs?
How do you make friends and what connects you to them?
What is your greater sense of purpose in terms of the impact you want to have on others?
What identities do you most connect to? What ones do you struggle in connecting to?
Sophomore year, before students and families invest money, time, and energy into the steps necessary for college applications and acceptances is a good time to explore the reasons WHY an individual may want to go to college:
Why does college feel like the best next step for you?
Why do you want to study or major in the area that you are considering?
How are you choosing the best college for you? Size? Location? Support Services? Because your parents went there?
Are there any fears or concerns about being successful in college?
Junior year, as students are narrowing down the list and preparing next steps to apply, it is time to make sure that they are considering HOW they are going to actually “do” college:
Are you prepared to share a room with individuals who may have different habits, lifestyles, or beliefs? How will you deal with communication or conflict?
How will you cope with being away from family, friends, or dating partner?
How will you get support for pre-existing diagnosis such as ADD or ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorder or others?
How will you navigate the “drinking” or “party culture”?
Clearly the questions above are far from an exhaustive list, but one that I hope shows the importance of students not only being academically prepared, but the reality that making the choice to go to college is not one to be taken easily or lightly. While college may have moved from an option, to what many seem now as an expectation, not having these conversations can lead students and their families feeling ill prepared for the fact that only 20% of a college student’s time is actually spent in a classroom.
