Life after College - You are Ready!
Three years of middle school to prepare for four years of high school. Four years of high school to prepare for four years of college. Four years of college to prepare for…FOREVER. At least that is how many of us feel. As graduation gets closer and closer, the fear of what is on the other side seems to get stronger and stronger.
For our entire school based life, we have had parents guiding us, teachers directing us and friends along side of us. As we graduate college, we realize that our experiences are more individualized then ever before. We are no longer returning to the comfort of what we have known. Summer is no longer the break that it once was. It now seems that those three months have become the pressure cooker of which we will see if we can withstand what is in store or if we will blow our lids.
But it doesn’t have to be so scary. Below are just a few things to keep in mind, as you are, in fact, ready!
Identity Shift
You will soon come to realize that you are no longer defined by class year, major, or sport that you play. It will be an adjustment, but feel confident in that you have other identities. You are a son, a daughter, a brother, a sister, a friend, a gamer, Asian, a sports enthusiast, a feminist, Muslim, an avid reader…the list goes on and on. Take a look at these two identity wheels and see what is most important or salient for you, or see where you might want to invest some time and energy.
Now is not Forever
Maybe you move home. Maybe you work a part time job so you can start a job that has growth potential. Maybe you aren’t sure what is up next. BREATHE!
While life may not look the way you thought it would when you were a Freshman and saw yourself graduating, getting a corner office and a sick apartment, does not mean that it won’t turn out exactly how it should. It’s like putting in a destination on your phones GPS. There will be multiple routes and possible detours, along with varying times and even a few tolls. But so long as the destination is there, and embrace that you are the one driving, you will get there! Along the way, you might even find some places that you want to stop for a while. You could be going along and realize that there is a new destination that you want to move towards. Regardless, you will get there!
Stay Curious, Not Critical
The time has come when all of your learning is no longer for a test or a grade! You get to ask questions, read books and write all for yourself!
GET A JOURNAL! I’m not talking a “Dear Diary it is day 43 after graduation and my life sucks” type of journal. But a journal where you can explore thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams, goals, and fears.
Don’t have a job? Reach out to people in the field you are interested in, not for an interview, but just to have them share the story of their journey and offer any insight or advice. You never know, it may turn into something more.
Friendships have changed? Focus on those people who are still connecting with you and don’t invest energy in trying to figure out why some people have moved on. Some college friendships are more about convenience then connection. It’s nothing you did wrong!
Put a Pin on It
If you are trying to get to a destination using your GPS, you pick the location and a pin is dropped. You will be presented with different paths to get there. Maybe you choose the quickest, or the one with no tolls. Maybe you choose the scenic route or the one that gives you the chance to stop by and see a family member. Regardless of the path you choose, as obstacles come up - traffic, construction, an accident - the pin never moves! There is never a right way or a wrong way to get where you want to go. You can decide if you want the destination to be a steady job with stable income, or maybe moving to a new state, or just getting to move out of your parents home. You can decide if the destination is where you want to be by end of summer or from a year from now. So take a moment and put a pin on it. Write it down somewhere you can see it. Focus on thoughts, people and choices that lead your towards your pin, not away from it.
Congratulations!
You did it! I hope you will feel proud and accomplished. I hope that as you reflect, the tough times helped you learn and the fun times helped you enjoy.
“The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.”
— Carl Rogers
